YEAH WHAT
When in Rome (or in Munich where I am right now), or anywhere in Europe, you're gonna be mugged. Hahaha kidding. But seriously pay attention.
Pick pockets are always a hassle. Always have your hands over anything valuable, don't use side pockets - breast pockets are better used as storage (I'd like to think iId notice when someone's going for a feelski) and, of course, you should also pack a huge fucking branch to beat the fuckers down if they do manage to grab something and begin to sprint off. Another pointer: headphones in your ears drawing a little trail to your pockets and your iPod is a deadset give away, and just a temptation for your new besties to go bobbing for Apple (yeah, that was a punishable pun..... Whoop there I go again). They will lightly tug at that white cord, slide your private jukebox out and next thing you know, Cher's Turn back Time suddenly stops and you're wishing you actually could turn back time and stop the bugger in his tracks.
Gypsies. They kinda come under the same category but they like to dress their thieving behaviours up in little tricks. And you may think they're obvious, but the ass hats get away with it far too often. In Paris, par example, they are normally wearing tracksuit hoodies with scarves around their heads. Rocking some serious threads, these trendsetters. Groups of young people can be seen hurrying along streets or in front of famous places (lesbihonest this practically means every square foot of the bloody place), with pieces of paper trying to get you to sign something. They hardly say anything but point to the paper and insist you sign it/give a donation. Whilst doing this, they are averting your attention from your personal belongings that you may have in your pocket or, as some stupid idiots (I will take the fall on this one) do, out on the table in clear sight ("oh, so my beautiful looks didn't draw your attention to me?"). Nek minnit, they've got your item of value in their grotty little hands and they're about to make a run of it. Luckily for me, both times this happened, I noticed and got that huge branch I was talking about out of my Mary poppins bag and swatted the little fucker's brains out.
The third scenario I have come across is less out of your control. Europe is a massive fucking place with many different places to go and see, and if you're a cheap bastard like me, you like your £15 coach rides across countries. Beware, however, of randoms lurking about the sides of the buses when they come to a stop and luggage is being unloaded. It is possible, and it happened to some bodacious African lady tonight right in front of me, that one of these randoms will just take luggage from the bus hull and piss bolt with it, leaving you possessionless and woeful. Who doesn't want a fresh pair of clothes after 13 hours of travel in a bus full of strange people eating strange things.
Pick pockets are always a hassle. Always have your hands over anything valuable, don't use side pockets - breast pockets are better used as storage (I'd like to think iId notice when someone's going for a feelski) and, of course, you should also pack a huge fucking branch to beat the fuckers down if they do manage to grab something and begin to sprint off. Another pointer: headphones in your ears drawing a little trail to your pockets and your iPod is a deadset give away, and just a temptation for your new besties to go bobbing for Apple (yeah, that was a punishable pun..... Whoop there I go again). They will lightly tug at that white cord, slide your private jukebox out and next thing you know, Cher's Turn back Time suddenly stops and you're wishing you actually could turn back time and stop the bugger in his tracks.
Gypsies. They kinda come under the same category but they like to dress their thieving behaviours up in little tricks. And you may think they're obvious, but the ass hats get away with it far too often. In Paris, par example, they are normally wearing tracksuit hoodies with scarves around their heads. Rocking some serious threads, these trendsetters. Groups of young people can be seen hurrying along streets or in front of famous places (lesbihonest this practically means every square foot of the bloody place), with pieces of paper trying to get you to sign something. They hardly say anything but point to the paper and insist you sign it/give a donation. Whilst doing this, they are averting your attention from your personal belongings that you may have in your pocket or, as some stupid idiots (I will take the fall on this one) do, out on the table in clear sight ("oh, so my beautiful looks didn't draw your attention to me?"). Nek minnit, they've got your item of value in their grotty little hands and they're about to make a run of it. Luckily for me, both times this happened, I noticed and got that huge branch I was talking about out of my Mary poppins bag and swatted the little fucker's brains out.
The third scenario I have come across is less out of your control. Europe is a massive fucking place with many different places to go and see, and if you're a cheap bastard like me, you like your £15 coach rides across countries. Beware, however, of randoms lurking about the sides of the buses when they come to a stop and luggage is being unloaded. It is possible, and it happened to some bodacious African lady tonight right in front of me, that one of these randoms will just take luggage from the bus hull and piss bolt with it, leaving you possessionless and woeful. Who doesn't want a fresh pair of clothes after 13 hours of travel in a bus full of strange people eating strange things.
