It's Okay To Not Be Okay

Recently I came to realise I was suffering from a spot of depression (if you can call it a spot, to the depressed it’s more like a gaping hole of insufferable darkness except you’re that hole), and that I needed to give myself every possibility and avenue of restoration. 

Let’s acknowledge something together: there is a problem in the world. It’s depression, and it’s rampant. But the good news is we weren’t designed or destined to depression. We were designed and destined to dignity, delight and to dance. 

We are awoken each day with a chance to feel dignified, delighted and to dance — and in the rhythmic reality of life that we are given — from moons, from the orbit of our beautiful earth to the rotation of the week with it’s resting point in Sabbath, our whole experience suggests renewal. The routine of the world beckons you to try again. 

The thing is, so much of what we do is destructive to our body and mind’s natural capacity to function in a way that allows the purest form of delight and this is why we, in the long term, suffer from darkness. The good news (apart from The Good News which is the ultimate good news) is that we are given the new day —the new hour, the new second, the new breath — to seek restoration of mind and body. 

I am learning now to focus on a few things: interaction and relationship, exercise (strenuous and non-strenuous), music, creative outlets, gratitude and ensuring that what I put in my body food-wise is nourishing not just my body but affectively my mind.

1. Firstly, interaction and relationship is important. We are made to be relational and creative in our interactions - to be empathetic and to pursue empathy. For those reading who know someone who suffers with depression or anxiety, your role is not to invalidate but to listen. It’s all we need. Never assume what is going on in our minds because most of the time we don’t even know ourselves! Seek God in prayer. Lay your burdens unashamedly before Him, and before the support network He’s placed you in. When we experience love and understanding from humans, we experience the same as what God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit experience and are.

2. Exercising is something that I don’t particularly enjoy. I am not competitive with others sports-wise, and I am not competitive with myself either. I would hate to begin to harp up saying I need to be or do better. Finding the balance here is important. Because I am slowly acknowledging my strength comes from the Lord, I invite Him to instruct me on how to involve myself with physical activity. That said, I’m sure with the children Jesus ran, and with the women Jesus walked, and in nature He soaked up the awe of creation. We know scientifically exercise is good for us physically, but mentally and spiritually it allows us to flourish. 

3. Music is powerful on our minds. As boring as it may seem for us born into a world of selection, listening to melodious classical music is proven to calm, to encourage progress and to allow our emotions to work with our reasoning, rather than against it. Erik Satie and Debussy are two of my favourites.

4. Creative outlets for many can include music making, writing, art, map making, DIY - anything that encourages emotion and rational thinking to combine is truly beautiful and honestly God sent. Photography, making short films and blog writing have helped me to sustain clarity in where I was at with my walk with depression. 

5. These things also help us to practice gratitude, in that in them we are thankful of what it is that we’re involved in. Faith and a relationship with God has also allowed this to truly come alive for me. To think He smiles as I stroke my paintbrush along paper is a lovely thought.

6. To help my mind stay clear, what I physically ingest is vital - a plant-based diet is free of guilt and ignorance for me - not just for myself health wise but for the better treatment of the beautiful animals and fellow people we are blessed to share this earth with. A plant-based diet allows clarity of mind, the restoration of my body - the temple of the Holy Spirit.

I also believe that because our bodies are not our own that we have to treat them as something borrowed to give back to their true owner - God. For that reason, treating myself well and seeking help and treatment for a mental health issue from all angles encourages the continual recognition that God wants the best for me because I am His. 

I want to encourage you all, no matter whether you’re depressed or not, to seek these practices. To know that wellbeing doesn’t come from one simple practice. It comes from an array of notions that stem from the fact that God knows that we, created in His image, will be beautifully varied and our strength will be restored in different ways. 

I am looking forward to sharing more in depth ways with you on how to reinvigorate your dance of life - it’s something we’re all doing together, this thing. And it’s a beautiful path to walk along.