From Surviving to Thriving: How a Journey To Wholeness Works

Okay. Hear me out.

I've been doing a LOT of thinking lately. Perhaps too much. 

But one thing I've been thinking about is the process of moving from surviving to thriving.

You see, there are times in your life where all you're trying to do is pull through to the end of the day. You are blinded by immediate needs. It's definitely not ideal. We could all do so much better to pull through those moments. But they happen. 

Take, for instance, the feeling of frustration that we get towards the end of the day that is so often silenced by a good meal. Ahhhhh... my tummy is no longer grumbling, and therefore no longer also am I...

I recognise that what the Bible describes as happening is not necessarily what the Bible prescribes, but I do take great confidence in seeing how God journeys with our weaknesses, takes pity on us, and helps us to come to a place where we have survived in an immediate sense to be able to build strength, resiliency and ultimately a greater capacity for service of God. A triumph, a victory, an ongoing sanctification. 

Let's wind it back for a moment. Maslow's heirarchy of needs gives us some context as to how we fundamentally function as humans:

Now, is this what we need at ALL TIMES in order to face the hard stuff? No. Throughout history both in the bible we find examples where people faced extreme challenges and the threat of death, struggles with safety and a lack of access to food, water etc. Jesus Himself went without food or water in a hot wilderness for 40 days and was still able to self-actualise in the most memorable and important moments of earth's history: denying Himself and holding fast to God's word.

That said, we as fallen humans are on a journey to this. As I mentioned earlier, we're being sanctified. We are ALL being sanctified. With that in mind, we should extend grace to ourselves AND others in this journey and hear the Holy Spirit when it comes to navigating these displays of human frailty.

What displays am I talking about? What's an example of meeting the basic needs before seeing a person display the fulfilment of their purpose on a grander scale? 

I think of Elijah. A lot. 

The guy had just come from a grandiose display of his faith in God. A literal mountain top experience on Mount Carmel as he challenged Baal worshippers to have their god Baal send fire down from heaven onto their altars. With no success on their side, Elijah had water poured onto the altar he established for the God of heaven whom he worshipped and had dedicated his life service to, and still fire was sent from heaven quenching the water and burning the entire altar and sacrifice. Also, the prophets of Baal were killed. So that became a thing.

Surely, SURELY, this Elijah guy felt God totally by his side through it all following this momentous event of God prevailing? 

Well, the story doesn't pan out that way. He heard that Jezabel, the wife of king Ahab, was pretty mad with Elijah for messing with her peeps. She sent for him to be killed. Elijah wasn't about that business, so he ran. And he legged it quick smart.

Well you can imagine - he gets tired, and finds shade under a tree. He calls out to God: “It is enough! Now, Lord, take my life, for I am no better than my fathers!” (1 Kings 19:4). Sounds extreme, maybe. But Elijah was feeling the feels - an emotional response after what we now know is a fight or flight response engagement in the body. This expression, although possibly silly in our understanding, was his amygdala taking over the rational brain.

What was God's response? God could have said "SNAP OUT OF IT, SON!" He could have ignored Elijah. He could have given Elijah a 10 point slide show on why he was being unreasonable. But God gave us an example of how we, too, can respond to others. Take note: this is not enabling others to not trust God. Rather, it is putting them in a mindset of sufficient reset to be able to face the ways in which they do, perhaps, need to change their thinking or behaviours in order to move from surviving to thriving.

God's angel visits Elijah, and awakens him to food and water. He was supplied physiological needs. He also rested, another need. How good do you feel when you've had a rest after a huge amount of stress, right? But the presence of the angel also brought to Elijah a sense of security and safety, which was a psychological need. The bible goes on to say that Elijah was able to spend a full 40 days in the wilderness and was strengthened not only by this food but by this encouragement.

It so follows that Elijah came to a cave after this journey. God meets there with him, and curiously asks Elijah (not because God needed to know - He already did) what he was doing there. God withheld judgment. He withholds it ALL. THE. TIME. We see that firstly in the Garden of Eden. He asked Adam and Eve "where are you?" Even though He is all knowing, He reserves His opinion and rather asks to hear our story. God is seeking to listen, even though in our logical mind we know it's His voice that is really worth listening to. God sees our storytelling and our need to feel heard as a way to build trust and connection, and lead us to true self-actualisation. God withholds judgment through this process with Elijah and gently brings him to a place of realisation that Elijah is not alone in this journey (the reason he hid in the cave), and that there are others fearlessly seeking to serve God and do good for humanity. 

In this example, and so many others, we can learn so much. We can learn to assess whether a person who is struggling may benefit from having some more simpler needs met before we throw out the nets of conversation about how they need to make changes in their life. We can learn that giving a person safety and security, and building trust is what will ultimately lead them to feel safe enough to tell their story. We can learn that listening is key to these two, and that out of it all we are granted permission to then give them wise instruction on how to move from a place of just surviving to a real sense of thriving. 

I don't know who needed to hear this today, but what I do know is that God just wants to work with where we're at, and help us to do the same for others. Don't be scared to sit with someone awhile under a tree with some bread and water and wait patiently and lovingly for them to feel strengthened enough to work through the hard stuff. Show up for them the way they are clearly expressing they need someone (unless, of course, it is adverse to wellness in anyway). It will communicate to them "Hey. You're not a project. You're a person." 

Our role is not to get people to a certain level of wellness for our benefit. It's to get them to a certain level for their benefit. Make your approach to people other-centred. And remember, love covers multitude of sins (1 Peter 4:8). The root word of "sin" simply means to "miss the mark," and oh boy, don't we do that so much in this life!

Let's help one another survive so that we can thrive. It's the only way!