I have Deciphered To Follow Jesus

I was singing I have Decided to Follow Jesus the other day. It's a lovely, easy tune to follow along with and I like the idea behind it. The story behind it is even more powerful. Read about it in length here, but let's just say a man watched all of his family killed before his eyes as he refused to renounce his faith in Jesus in a culture where it was forbidden. 

Have you really decided to follow Jesus? I thought to myself. I mean, what does that even mean? I summed it up as this "To follow Jesus is to renounce the world and all of its pleasures, because He is beautiful and you wholly recognise that." I couldn't honestly say I was at that point - and I really do enjoy honesty (some say I'm too honest 😅).

How come I could intellectually decode the bible, dance through scripture and eloquently share concepts of huge impact on the minds and hearts of others, yet I was struggling on and off with chasing after my saviour who chases after me? 

Then a word trickled in, in the place of "decided". 

"Deciphered." You've deciphered to follow Jesus, Ruth.

I'd cracked eternal enigmas, I'd scurried through the elusive texts of perceived darkness in the bible and apart from worldly praise it was not translating into a crucified self. To follow Jesus was have an intimate relationship with Him.

I remember a quote about spending an hour a day in contemplation of Christ. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be. Your phone pings, your mind sings, anxious, rushed thoughts flow in. "How do I contemplate Him? Do I imagine the actor from Passion of the Christ with his bushy beard and flowing locks and smile? Do I brush through fleeting imagery of Jesus as a shepherd? Argh! This is too hard!" 

"You're doing too much deciphering." A quiet and stilling voice said to me. I recognised that the lawyer and counsellor in me was trying to dissect the smallest bits and pieces of the image of Jesus without simply beholding Him. Be still and know that I am God had never rung so true. In an occupation where I am trying to make sense of others for their benefit, I wasn't letting God help me make sense of me. I wasn't seeing myself in contrast to Jesus. I wasn't seeing how He cloaks me in His beauty. In His righteousness. In His endless love.

Well here is my proclamation and an invitation for you along with me - I have for too long deciphered to follow Jesus. 

I now decide to follow Jesus. 

May this be a daily commitment and proclamation. May it eventuate to standing face to face with my maker rather than just Jim Caviezel, that actor guy.