Things That Are Good
Today the sun was shining, I wasn't wearing pants (or tights!) and my skin was quietly screaming "THANKS RUTH YOU'RE DA BEST" as I walked along my street, up through the woods and along Otley Road towards the café that I had been asked to come in and photograph. The coffee was good, the staff friendly and intrigued by what I was doing, the locals photobombing and I got a surprise second breakfast before I left. Stevie Wonder played over the café's busy charming atmosphere and I left on a high.
Yeah, that happened.
As I walked through the valley of the shadow of death (as I walked down Woodhouse Lane in the sunlight of Leeds) I kept thinking to myself "you are in a good place, my little friend." Because I am. And I actually, unbeknownst to me, have been for a long time.
You must make goodness out of the average in order to be in a good place, my little friends. Make friends, throw yourself at opportunities. Fake it till you make it. All of that stuff.
So here is my list of gratitude for times of late. Some is general, some very specific. Some you might be all "TMI RUTH HODGE!" (It's not actually TMI, I'm kidding.)
1. My relationship with my mum. Every morning after leaving my phone by my bedside and throwing myself into the day with a big ol' bowl of porridge, I finally look at my phone to see a "good morning sweetie". That's damn right precious. And so important. Waking up/going to sleep with a little reminder of her love is so wonderful, and I always try to match her enthusiasm for my life and wellbeing. Normally it's a photo of me with my housemate's cat or something simple like "have a kicker of a day, my awesome kickass mother". We're on diagonal opposite sides of the world right now and yet we're entirely in sync with each other. And though it wasn't always like that, I now value my relationship with her more than anything. Even cheese.
2. My ability to travel. Some of you might not think of travelling as requiring "ability" (apart from the obviousness of mobility and funds, for which of course I am so blessed to have). I mean my mental ability, my independence and my enthusiasm for travel. We're not all so into the being-away-from-home-for-long-periods-of-time thing. After a while, homesickness sets in, or life back home drags you back to familiar ground. For me, a year can pass and I'm totally fine. I'll have off days (which brings me back to number one on my list - Judy is always there to cheer me on and kick my sorry self in the butt for being a negative Nancy), but this sense of a perpetual need to travel, move, make things new on the regular - it's a constant in my life. I've lived overseas twice now in a small space of time and I am always looking for further opportunities. To remain stagnant in one place for too long is against my nature, and so my ability to travel and to live freely is something I am grateful for.
3. This little character in the story of my life named Matt. (OMG hi Matt, sorry if you're reading this but I'm about to say some stuff that will probably make you go "okay Ruth FFS calm down" or alternatively "you're such a sook" or "friggin hell you're embarrassing" or "babe. Total babe.") So there's this guy that's kinda in my life (how'd you achieve that, sneaking on up on me and just kinda landing a lead role in my life unbeknownst to me?) and to be honest I side lined him for far too long (fell for that friggin face of yours way back when you first walked into our workplace) but am so happy I dropped my hard-arse approach to men/dudes/other people in general and allowed you to love me, allowing myself to love you in the process. God dammit you're one fine piece of human. Thanks for everything (except for that time when.... actually, I can't think of one time you'd double crossed me. Except for taking too long to cook me dinner. Arsehole).
4. Leeds. Um, so... I totally expected this Northern city to be a bit of a joke, a dud. Not one bit of my expectation has been true. So much is happening in this place - so much exploring, so many incredible characters. So many wild blackberry bushes. So many free coffees at Waitrose (hahahahaha). So many adventures, so many escapes to the countryside. And university, for the first time in a long time, is inspiring me. Volunteering at a prison? Okay yeah sure. In the words of our lady Lizzie McGuire, why not? (Why not?)
5. The good weather of late. I'm a huge walker (not huge as in I am massive and have a BMI of over 45). I let my legs carry me from place to place and avoid transport options like the plague. So this weather - the sun, the lack of rain, the tolerable cold - I am all for it. I know I will end up cowering at a bus shelter in the later months but for now it is God's gift to me and I'm frothing on it.
6. A new view of 'God'. I have struggled with my faith for a long time now. I'm not a bible basher, but I grew up in a relatively strict denomination of the Christian faith and after a bit of a ball-breaker experience growing up, I lost myself a bit in the process. I am now at one with who I am, and who this 'God' character is. This character who gives me good weather, legs that allow me to walk, a city full of life and adventure to explore, a person who I am committed to and in sync with that I love, my mental strength and independence that allows me to explore, to get out of bed everyday, to make "making scones" exciting, and gives me an incredible relationship with my erratic and crazily lovely mother (woo Judes you go girl). And I'm thankful for so much more too - my friends at home and here, those people that tag me in videos of Mr Bean dancing or references to the song 'What Would You Do?' by City High because they know me well. I am thankful that I get to be transparent with these people on a day to day basis. And I am thankful that I can be transparent here on this blog. To say (almost) anything that's on my mind. To go from "I had a pretty hectic night out last night" to "let's talk about spirituality" to "DOGS. SO MANY OF THEM." My thoughts range and wander as much as these posts do. And God, whoever or whatever he or she or it is to me and to you and to everyone, this faith in something, it gives me all of this. Everything. High five, God. You are Glen Coco today. And always.
