Who Is Ruth Right Now?

As I sit in a North London café after spending a day at work and wandering across bridges and waters, I think to myself "who am I right now?"

I am not who I was seven months ago. And it scares me, because seven months ago life was breezy. But it was so breezy that Lord knows I could have just simply been blown away.

I was, instead, blown away by Love seeking me out and shaking me silly. But then Love did something wondrous: it firmly planted my feet on rock. On a strong foundation. What is this foundation? It is kindness, humility, love, joy, patience, honesty. It is selflessness.

I realised that the world right now is like the image of people with big spoons but no elbows. They simply cannot feed themselves unless they feed one another, as without elbows they cannot reach the spoon back to their mouths. It teaches me that survival in an earthly sense as well as an eternal sense is predicated on selflessness. It is predicated on harmony. It is predicated on true relationship.

And so I looked at where I was heading: I had plans to move back to Australia and have a nice home, a nice dog to show off at the beach, a nice portfolio of writing pieces to get a name for myself. I was working towards this.

But I have been absolutely overwhelmed recently in my personal, familial and world-centred life that what we need is not to provide for and encourage the "self" - but to provide for and encourage the "other". If we all were to do this, naturally the rhythm of humans as created beings would be a-ok. That's how it was to be.

My heart says "people are broken. I am broken. How can we put the pieces back together in our own lives and in the lives of others?" It has always been through conversation and listening that I've seen the wondrous transformation of people. That in giving our time and our minds to others, we encourage others to do the same. There is healing in just "being there."

And so I have decided to waddle on home to Australia and begin earning my qualifications to become a community counsellor. To work from the individual up and out. To encourage conversation. To discourage condemnation. To open up discussion. To heal.

And to hopefully be able to pay for the roof over my head and the food on my table in the process ;)