On the back of scrap paper, these words lay scrawled and bare.

 there's so much that 

constantly churns
inside my head
without ceasing.

and then I learn of

the One who loves 

me. without ceasing.

I learn of Him. but

it takes time to 

trust Him. how much

He exercises the most

patience toward me.

how much He lovingly

waits. lovingly sits

and waits - for me to

even begin to catch up

to, and comprehend.

comprehend His love.

comprehend His all. 

His all that He gave

freely. limitelessly.

unyieldingly. He

exudes goodness.

for He is goodness.

daily I have moments.

moments of ohhh! You

ARE good! moments

of a big fat yes!

moments of thankfulness. moments of confusion and uncertainty met with the simplest hope. hope actually doesn't need to look like much, I realise. hope only needs a look upwards. and perhaps, just perhaps, it is not even that. perhaps it is the internal look up as my head, burdened with the weight of doubt, remains down. but oh, the power - the power of hope.

if hope is all I have,

it's enough. hope in

God - it's enough.

hope that He is, really

and truly, the author

and finisher of faith.

my faith. the faith 

of the seemingly faithless.

faith of the brokenhearted.

faith of the empty.

faith of the condemned.

his faith has faith in

my faith and that is 

enough faith to expel

all faithlessness that has

previously dwelled within.

by faith we are healed.

His faith is what strengthens

my own. my heart just 

cannot conceive it.

what matchless love! why?

why. here's why: love.

it cannot do anything

but be in its fullness.

it either is, or it isn't.

darkness expelled by 

light. love and its 

absence do not cohabit.

and what's more. He is the God who sees me. El roi. He sees me in that darkness. enters into it. dwells in it. in His presence light and love surround me. I can't escape them. and in the innermost of my being, far beyond the brokeness. the comfort and familiarity found in unhealthy attachment. 

at the bottom. 

the rock bottom.

is the Rock.